Is Your Marketing Annoying to Security Buyers? Here's How to Fix It.

Thank you for joining me on this journey to becoming a more curious, ethical, and effective marketer.

I want to stress that I am learning just like many of you.

Constant learning, failing, and small, consistent, and incremental successes are what drive me forward.

My hope is to share my findings, learnings, and successes with all of you, those phasing into the tech or cybersecurity or already a veteran in the space so that we, as marketers, salespeople, and vendors, can all become better at what we do while arming those who are on the front lines battling the latest threats or solving complex challenges as things change in this digital world.

Are you ready?

My Backstory

I’ve been deep in B2B digital marketing and demand generation for over 14 years.0

In 2011, I dove headfirst into startup life and fell in love with creating digital experiences that connected with people.

But somewhere along the way, I got lost chasing metrics that, looking back, didn’t mean much.

I was stuck measuring the wrong things—focusing on leads instead of listening to real people.

I’ve wasted a lot of time on tasks that looked good on dashboards but had no real impact. It was disheartening.

I’d mastered marketing tactics but missed out on the most important thing: connecting with my audience on a deeper level.

I was caught up in the “what,” when I should have been asking “why.” And the result? Burnout.

That’s when I realized what was missing: getting closer to my audience—understanding who they are, what they care about, and what keeps them up at night.

I needed to stop talking at them and start listening to them.

I needed to ask better questions, build trust, and let their stories guide my efforts.

The Turning Point

My mindset shifted when I transitioned into the cybersecurity space. It was a hard reset.

I redefined my core values:

• I became obsessed with truly understanding my audience.

• Creating meaningful experiences for them (and my team) became my passion.

• Empathy, trust, and loyalty became my compass.

Now, I carve out time each day to read about the market, talk to customer-facing teams, and reach out directly to the audience.

I listen to what they’re saying, not just about my product, but about their struggles and hopes.

That level of empathy didn’t just change my approach—it brought new energy to my career and personal life.

It reminded me of why I started in the first place: to make a real impact, not just on metrics but on people.

And here’s what I’ve learned: when you listen deeply and genuinely care, people will want to share their stories with you.

They’ll want to have you at the table.

So, I urge you: unmute your mic, share your ideas, and be part of the conversation.

Your voice matters.

Before we dive in, don’t forget to subscribe to join 1700+ cybersecurity marketers and sales pros mastering customer research. You’ll get notified whenever a new episode and buyer insights summary drops.

Internal Gatekeeping Sucks When It Comes to Accessing Customers and Qualitative Data

I know, “just ask to talk to customers” sounds simple. But I’ve been there, and I know that access isn’t always easy.

There is so much internal gatekeeping!

But, in many organizations, marketers haven’t successfully sold the value of customer conversations to the right people—or the right way.

If you’re struggling with this, you’re not alone.

You need a plan to get buy-in:

1. Clarify your goal: What do you want to achieve by talking to customers?

2. Define your approach: How will you engage the customer respectfully?

3. Set expectations: How long will the conversation last?

4. Prepare questions: What will you ask to make the most of their time?

5. Ensure confidentiality: How will you handle their insights responsibly?

Your goals may not align with those of customer success teams, so you need to explain why these conversations matter.

The better you articulate your intentions, the more likely you’ll get buy-in—and better results from your interviews.

Eighty percent of the richest insights come from conversations with potential buyers.

To break through, I started listening to security practitioners online, asking for introductions through my network, and, most importantly, building real relationships from scratch.

Engaging with cybersecurity buyers starts with genuine curiosity. 

The turning point for me was realizing that I needed to not only listen but also feel what my audience feels.

Empathy is curiosity in action.

It wasn’t until I paired my failures with real conversations that I could stop wasting effort and start truly diagnosing problems.

The 3+1 Questions You Must Ask Your Customers

I learned an effective framework from Adele Revella, Founder of the Buyer Persona Institute:

1. “Take me back to when you first realized you needed a solution like [your product]. What happened?”

   • This question uncovers the initial trigger.

2. “Why didn’t you act sooner? What changed that made you decide to move forward now?”

   • This reveals barriers and motivators.

3. “Walk me through your decision-making process. Who influenced you? Where did you research?”

   • This helps map out their buyer journey.

Bonus question: “Are there any differences in the market that we could leverage?” This is how you uncover your key differentiators.

Real strategy starts and ends with your audience.

Break out of the echo chamber, engage directly with your audience, and remember:

• It doesn’t have to be expensive.

• It doesn’t have to take months.

• It doesn’t have to be perfect.

But it does take practice.

Until next time,
Dani

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